Despite literal millions being spent on “intensive security measures” to guard Prince Harry’s new book, it went ahead and leaked. And also accidentally went on sale in Spain several days early? Truly, a mess!
But the good news is that people who simply couldn’t wait for Spare to hit shelves on January 10 pretty much don’t have to, as outlets are busy writing up the most salacious excerpts from Harry’s memoir. And the book delivers. Like, for everyone worried Spare would simply rehash what Harry said in his Oprah interview and during his Netflix docuseries, you are NOT prepared. Let’s jump in.
Harry Accused William of Physically Attacking Him
The alleged altercation took place in Harry’s kitchen at Nottingham Cottage, where they were fighting about Meghan Markle. Apparently, William (whom Harry calls his “archnemesis” elsewhere) called Meghan “difficult,” “rude,” and “abrasive.” And after Harry peaced out to the kitchen to get his brother some water, he said this happened:
“He set down the water, called me another name, then came at me. It all happened so fast. So very fast. He grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and he knocked me to the floor. I landed on the dog’s bowl, which cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me. I lay there for a moment, dazed, then got to my feet and told him to get out.”
Truly yikes. Oh, also, William allegedly told Harry not to tell Meghan about the fight, but she noticed “scrapes and bruises” on his back and “was terribly sad.”
FYI, this is a photo of the kitchen in question:
King Charles Begged His Sons to Stop Feuding
The plea came during Prince Philip’s funeral in April 2021, when Harry said Charles stood between his sons “looking up at our flushed faces” and asked, “Please, boys. Don’t make my final years a misery.”
Honestly, this is pretty sad.
Kate and William Allegedly Told Harry to Wear That Nazi Uniform
According to Page Six (which also got its hands on the book), Harry called William and Kate Middleton and asked them to weigh in on his costume. They made their feelings clear. “I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said,” Harry wrote, adding that he tried the costume on in front of them. “They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! Way more ridiculous! Which, again, was the point.”
Harry Said Meghan Told Kate She Had “Baby Brain”
And Kate was…not thrilled. According to a source who spoke to the Daily Mail, “In the book, Harry says that there was a discussion about the timing of the wedding rehearsal and the flower girl dresses and Kate was very upset. Meghan said that Kate must have ‘baby brain’ because of her hormones. It caused a huge row because Meghan was told that she wasn’t close enough to her sister-in-law to discuss her hormones and it wasn’t the way people spoke to each other within the royal family…. The book makes clear that Meghan felt the fall-out wasn’t her fault, but it doesn’t exactly make her look very good either.”
Harry Feared Camilla Would Be a “Wicked Stepmother”
He recalled meeting his future stepmom, comparing it to an “injection” by telling himself, “Close your eyes and you won’t even feel it.” Apparently, Harry and William begged their dad not to marry the “other woman” because they worried she’d be a “wicked stepmother.”
Spoiler: They got married.
Harry Addressed Rumors About His Paternity
Specifically, that his real father is Princess Diana’s riding instructor James Hewitt, whom she had an affair with. While Harry noted that “my mother didn’t meet Major Hewitt until long after I was born,” he also said King Charles made digs about the subject.
“Pa liked telling stories, and this was one of the best in his repertoire. He’d always end with a burst of philosophizing…Who knows if I’m really the Prince of Wales? Who knows if I’m even your real father?” Harry wrote. “He’d laugh and laugh, though it was a remarkably unfunny joke, given the rumor circulating just then that my actual father was one of Mummy’s former lovers: Major James Hewitt. One cause of this rumor was Major Hewitt’s flaming ginger hair, but another cause was sadism.”
Meghan and Kate Had Weird Drama Over Lipgloss
According to Page Six, Harry recalls an “awkward moment” where Meghan asked to borrow some of Kate’s lip gloss ahead of their joint appearance at the Royal Foundation Forum in 2018.
“Kate, taken aback, went into her handbag and reluctantly pulled out a small tube,” Harry wrote. “Meg squeezed some onto her finger and applied it to her lips. Kate grimaced.”
Harry’s Penis Was Frostbitten at the Royal Wedding
Kate and Will’s royal wedding, specifically. Harry had taken a trip to the North Pole a month prior, and apparently his penis simply couldn’t handle it. As he put it, “While the ears and cheeks were already healing, the todger wasn’t. It was becoming more of an issue by the day.” Fear not, he went to a doctor to get the situation looked at post-wedding.
Harry Lost His Virginity in a Field
According to a passage from Spare published in Us Weekly, he lost his virginity during “inglorious episode with an older woman.” Ahem:
“She liked horses, quite a lot, and treated me unlike a young stallion. Quick ride, after which she’d smacked my rump and sent me to grace. Among the many things about it that were wrong. It happened in a grassy field behind a busy pub.”
We’ll be adding to this list as more revelations from Spare drop.